You May Now Kiss the Bride
by lyonvastia
Summary: Makarov is starting to get sick of the guild members' destructive nature. He decides to set up a little competition that has them working in pairs and will hopefully teach them responsibility.
1. Chapter 1

It was a rainy, dreary day in the city of Magnolia, and since there weren't too many jobs to be found on rainy days, their number one Guild was currently causing a ruckus with so many of them stuck inside. The Master's eyebrows furrowed as he watched the guild members wreak chaos. It was no wonder the Magic Council had grown more and more intolerant to Fairy Tail. Their destructive nature had even led the newest Chairman to say that, if Fairy Tail caused another incident, it would be disbanded. The third Master would never let that happen, but even so, something would have to change. Mirajane caught his eye and she nodded her head ever so slightly with a small smile.

Makarov, from up on the stage, cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. He was greatly disappointed when no one payed the slightest bit attention but continued to fight and basically destroy the guild and everything in it. In fact, he had to dodge as an unconscious Fairy Tail member went flying past his head - just narrowly missing colliding with his small body. Mustache twitching, he clenched his fists and started growing in size until his head almost brushed the ceiling.

"Listen up brats!" Makarov yelled in his powerful voice. The tone of his words sounded so frightening everyone stopped what they were doing and turned around almost immediately.

Gajeel, who currently had Natsu in a headlock, gave him one last satisfying punch that sent him sprawling headfirst into the ground before turning around to hear what the Master had to say.

"What is it pops?" Natsu asked from down on the floor with his usual grin.

"What I am about to say is for everyone to hear. Even more so for our more obnoxious troublemakers," he said, narrowing his eyes in Natsu's general direction. "Anyway, it seems many of you have gotten out of control and have become careless to the point of starting meaningless fights on jobs as well as around the town, which we all know has resulted in endless days of paperwork for me. I want you to know this behavior can not and will not continue."

He paused for a moment to reach behind him and grabbed a thick stack of papers off the podium. "However," he started to say, untying the string that held the pieces of paper together, "I will not conform to the rules of the Magic Council. They are quite persistent and very annoying " Using both hands he ripped the paperwork in half and tossed them aside lazily which earned a quite a few cheers from the guild members.

The Master sighed heavily before saying, "But don't think me disagreeing with them is going to let you off the hook. Oh no. I have a little surprise in store for you hooligans. A lesson in responsibility."

Lucy raised her eyebrows while Natsu and Gajeel exchanged confused glances and Erza stepped forward commenting, "A good idea Master. I think-"

"You are included in this as well Erza," Makarov cut her off.

"So what the heck are you going to have us do Gramps?" Gray asked before Erza could react.

"Can someone hand Gray some shorts," Cana snorted.

"Yeah. I'm sick of staring at your bare ass," Laxus added.

Eyes widening, Fried immediately started contemplating whether Laxus was attracted to men or not since he didn't _have_ to keep looking at Gray's rear.

Elfman, who had a full frontal view of Gray's naked body, announced proudly, "Gray's a man!"

Levy and Lucy exchanged glances, covering their faces in embarrassment.

"Hold that thought Master! I have to pee!" Natsu said, standing up suddenly only to trip over Gajeel's enormous boot, sending him flying into Gray and knocking him over.

"Gihihi."

"That wasn't very nice Gajeel!" said Happy as Carla shook her head at how immature the guild members were.

Clawing at her face, eyes brimming with tears, Juvia shouted more or less to herself, "Does Gray-sama want Natsu or Juvia!?"

"You just don't get it do you?" Gray muttered whilst kicking Natsu off of him and standing up.

"I hear he and Lucy like to play dress up and use whips," Bickslow laughed as he put his arms around Gray and Lucy squishing their faces together against their will.

Loke's jaw dropped to the floor. "Lucy is that true!?"

"I'll kill them," Gray shouted.

"Someone kill me," Lucy muttered.

"How could you Lucy?" Natsu said pointing an accusing finger at her. "I thought us playing dress up that one time was special!"

"Man, Lucy sure likes to get around," Gajeel smirked slapping Laxus a high five.

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" Lucy waved her arms frantically.

All of a sudden an oversized fist appeared out of nowhere, colliding with both an unsuspecting Gajeel and Natsu sending them headfirst into the ground. Everyone glanced up and cowered at the sight of the Master; he had grown large again and now his eyes were emanating a bright golden light.

"Now that I finally have your attention brats," a few people took this chance to look at the lifeless forms of Gajeel and Natsu and gulped, "I am here to tell you that over the next however long I say this will last, some of you will be participating in a little competition that I hope will also teach you some responsibility."

Lucy and Gray exchanged glances. Competition?

"Mirajane if you will."

"Yes Master!" she smiled as she exited through the door that led to the backroom. A few moments later she appeared wielding a large bag of who knows what and a huge grin plastered on her face.

Everyone started quietly talking amongst themselves, wondering what crazy idea the Master had planned this time . They quieted down as he opened his mouth to speak again.

"Now this little competition will take place in pairs. But I will partner you with who I think you will have trouble getting along with," he said with an evil smile.

"It sounds like this is more for his personal entertainment pleasures," Gray whispered to Lucy.

"Thanks for volunteering first Gray! Please step forward."

"What! Why me? Ugh," he muttered, throwing the pair of shorts someone handed him down on the floor angrily before walking over to the Master.

"Hmmmm your partner for this will be..." his eyes scanned the crowd until they lit up when they rested upon the person he had been looking for. "Lyon!"

That's when Gray noticed the tall, spiky silver haired mage resting against a pole with a smirk on his face. He instantly started toward him exclaiming, "But-but he's not even from our guild!"

Baffled, Gray looked around at his fellow guild members but no else questioned Lyon's appearance and why he was there. The only one paying Gray any attention was the Master who was gesturing with his hands to get with his partner and Juvia who was violently sobbing because this meant she wouldn't be the one working with him.

Quietly complaining to himself, Gray reluctantly walked over to stand beside his childhood rival and crossed his arms.

"Why are you here?" he hissed.

"For the prize," remarked Lyon, thoroughly pleased at how worked up Gray was getting.

"Ahem," Makarov continued "The rest of the partners will be as follows: Natsu and Gajeel. Juvia and Lucy. Loke and Erza. Evergreen and Elfman. Laxus and Cana. Bickslow and Levy. And Fried with Lisanna. You 15 always seem to cause the most trouble so this will be a fun little test to discipline you."

"I have to team up with Salamander again?' Gajeel complained. "I swear we had better be kicking someone's ass then." He cracked his knuckles while Natsu nodded his head vigorously in agreement.

Levy glanced over in Bickslow's direction wondering why she was unlucky enough to have to be with the perverted one. And wishing she could have been partnered up with a certain iron dragon slayer.

Fried was silently crying to himself for not getting paired with up Laxus.

"Wait. Why me? I'm a celestial spirit!" Loke sputtered.

"You're still technically part of our guild! You still have the guild mark on your back," Mirajane smiled.

"Of all the women I could have been paired up with. Of course it had to be the scary one who hits people when they piss her off," Loke muttered bitterly.

"What did you say!?"

Loke sweat dropped and held up his arms as if that would prevent Erza from punching him, which, alas, it did not.

"Natsu. Gajeel. Step forward please." Begrudgingly they followed orders. Makarov reached inside the bag Mirajane had placed on the stage and pulled out something that surprised everyone in the room. It was a very real looking baby doll. He handed it to Gajeel who just stared at it in shock.

"Congratulations to the new couple! Natsu you may kiss the bride!"

Erza stepped forward. "Master, what's the meaning of this? I don't understand."

Smiling gleefully he answered, "For the next week and a half or so everyone who was paired up will have their very own kid to take care of. It even has a little sensory chip inside it to know how well it's being taken care of. This is a little task you will all have to complete by learning something called responsibility as well as working together."

Everyone let those words sink in for a few seconds before protesting. Gajeel, who still held the doll in his hands had turned red and looked livid. "This is messed up!"

"I agree! What's the meaning of this pops? I don't want to be married to Gajeel of all people the rest of my life!" complained Natsu. Right as Gajeel was about to throw the stupid doll Makarov put a hand on his shoulder and whispered pleasantly, "If you destroy or neglect to take care of your new daughter, there will be severe consequences." Turning back to others he said, "Alright everyone. Come line up and grab a kid."

Elfman proudly took his baby from Mirajane proclaiming,"It's a man!"

"It's a girl you idiot," Evergreen said in disgust.

Levy face palmed as Bickslow started controlling their doll with his magic, making it float around the room annoying other people.

The Master had tears welling in his eyes as he handed a boy baby doll over to Laxus saying, "I've finally become a Great Grandpa."

Laxus shook his head. "I still can't believed your making us do this old man. What the hell's the point?"

After every group had gotten their "kid," the Master explained one last thing. "Remember, this is a test of responsibility so you must work together to keep your new daughter or son happy. Because they are programmed to cry if they are being neglected in any way. I won't say what the prizes are yet but I will have you know that if you fail this test you will be severely punished." He smiled at everyone. "Make sure to have fun. I am having Mirajane and Jellal oversee your progress which will help me determine who the winners are. Good luck brats!"

"Jellal!? Since when was he part of our guild? Didn't he try to kill everyone!?" Gray asked with astonishment. Again. No one answered him.

Natsu glanced at the doll resting in Gajeel's hands. "Well, we may as well have fun with this. I'm going to take Igneel to the park!"

"You moron his name is Metallicana! And no you can sit your ass right back down because we are staying here. Besides, it's raining out you idiot!"

Lucy giggled. "You guys do realize you have a girl right?"

"Worry about yourself," Gajeel remarked, pointing behind her.

Confused, Lucy turned around and saw to her horror that Juvia had placed a black wig on their "son" and was already calling it Gray-sama.

On the other side of the room, Gray, who had yet to put clothes on, stood staring stupidly at his former comrade, still completely in shock that everyone was fine with Jellal standing in the vicinity as well as not questioning why Lyon was there.

"Look Gray! It's our baby!" Lyon smiled, cradling it in his arms as it were a real child. Unable to handle the situation anymore, Gray passed out.

Loke, looking sweaty and uncomfortable, was seriously considering running away to the Spirit World when Erza grabbed him by the collar. "Don't think you're getting out of this that easily," she said, dragging him along the ground, chatting about how this will be a fun and interesting experience to see what it's like to be a parent, Loke protesting the entire way.

Laxus glanced at Cana's drunken state and sighed when Fried and Lisanna's baby started crying.

_'This is going to be a long week and a half_,' he thought bitterly.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm sorry for not updating in so long! I recently have had a lot of times on my hand so I will be able to update much faster! Enjoy the second chapter :D**

* * *

"This is the perfect opportunity to be a man among all men!" Elfman proclaimed loudly, waving his doll through the air as he did so.

Rolling her eyes, Evergreen snatched it out of his hands before he almost destroyed the doll with his monstrous strength.

"Hey Ever," the large, muscular man began, turning back around to face her.

"Dont call me that. It's Evergreen to you." Cupping her face in her hands, she sighed, "Ugh, this is hopeless."

Placing a comforting hand on her on her shoulder, he smiled, "What are you talking about? We'll make great parents! "

Blushing furiously at the implications of his last sentence, Evergreen punched her partner across the face mumbling, "Yeah whatever. Just don't try anything funny! Like no touching me for instance." She waved a teasing finger in the air, laughing as she did so. "Or else I'll tell Laxus you've been doing naughty things to me!"

Rubbing the spot where her fist had made contact with his skin, Elfman said, "Ugh. You bitch!"

"What am I going to do with you?" Laxus sighed heavily, staring up at the ceiling as it would give him answers.

Cana, who lay on the floor, surrounded by empty barrels of sake, was unsuccessfully trying to quiet their crying doll.

"I'll take that." Laxus stole it out of her hands and she gave a little yelp of surprise.

"Do you not trust _me_ to take care of a child?" she slurred, her eyes blurry and unfocused.

"Not at all." With that, the lightning dragon slayer sweeped the drunken Cana off her feet, throwing her over his back, and walked away.

"I don't think is going to be that difficult to be honest," Lisanna smiled. "I mean, we get along pretty well. Don't you think?"

Fried, who currently had his eyes fixated on a certain blonde's retreating figure, gave a non-committal grunt.

Lisanna narrowed her eyes. "Well you could at least say something. We're going to be working together after all."

"Hm?" Fried stared blankly ahead, now lost in his own thoughts. Lisanna hung her head. Maybe this wouldn't be as easy as she thought.

Lyon stood alone in a corner of the guild, eyes darting around suspiciously as he bent down to examine the unconscious Gray.

"What should I do with the body...?" he pondered.

"Juvia doesn't want to be married to Lucy! Why can't she be with Gray?" Juvia cried, pounding her head on the table.

Lucy clapped her hand to her forehead. "We're not _really_ married. Think of this like a job. A really...creepy job..."

Bickslow grinned as he controlled his assigned doll to float higher and higher out of Levy's reach. The tiny blunette pouted, trying to jump up to grab it, but always falling short.

* * *

It had only been about twenty minutes since Makarov separated everyone into partners and Gajeel already couldn't stand it. Working with Salamander was bad enough but having to take care of a child with him? Even if it wasn't technically a real living kid—the very thought of it was disturbing. Clenching his fists, ready to release his pent up frustration on whoever closest to him, Gajeel immediately stopped in his tracks as he turned around to find Natsu cradling their "baby." He could only gape in horror at the scene before him.

"There, there," Natsu cooed, "Daddy loves you Igneel."

"WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU DOING?" Gajeel finally roared, grabbing the fire dragon slayer by the collar of his shirt—though he did take care not to tear his scarf in the process as he knew how much it meant to him.

"Gramps said we had to take care of this thing and if that's his orders than we have to do it!"

"You always break the rules! Why should this time be any different!?"

"I don't know I think this could be kind of fun," Natsu grinned. "Anyway, I'm not going to just give up and let the others win. Just watch me. I'm going to be the best father ever. I'm all fired up!"

"But why did you make _me_ the mother you bastard!?" Gajeel gritted his teeth.

"As I recall, the Master pronounced _you_ the wife. Hmmm. I wonder what you would look like as a girl," Natsu contemplated, stroking his chin thoughtfully, trying to imagine a female iron dragon slayer while Gajeel seethed beside him, a vein bulging from his temple.

An image of Gajeel covered in piercings with long unkempt hair wearing a wedding dress and makeup floated through Natsu's mind. "Ugh," he said with disgust. Then he burst out laughing, unable to control himself. "I'm sorry. But you'd look so ugly!"

"Oh you are so dead!" Gajeel's fist flew through the air so fast Natsu almost didn't dodge it in time. Yet Gajeel's nail had managed to graze him, leaving a small cut on his cheek.

Natsu recovered quickly, just in time to block another swing at his head.

"I am so going to beat your ass!"

"Stop talking dirty to me in front of little Igneel!" Natsu snapped unexpectedly, covering the doll's ears as if it could really hear their argument.

The fighting ceased immediately. "If I have to go through with this stupid shit than we are naming it Metalicana and that is final!" Gajeel crossed his arms violently.

"That's such an ugly name for a girl!" Natsu complained. Standing up straight, failing to make himself look taller, he said in a pompous manner, "Look, as the father-"

But Gajeel cut him off. "And Igneel isn't an ugly name!?"

"No way! Our kid should feel honored to be named after my Dad!"

"It's all girl you moron! And what about my Dad? Sure he was an ass but he deserves recognition too!"

"I know! Let's name her after Erza!"

"No way in hell!"

Natsu grinned maliciously."Erza would be so pissed if she heard you say that."

Gajeel sweat dropped. "You wouldn't!"

"ERZA-HEY ERZA-"

Natsu waved his arms frantically above his head as Gajeel wrestled with him to cover his mouth.

What's all the commotion boys," Erza stepped out from behind them, doll in one hand, Loke struggling to resist in the other, an evil glint apparent in her eye.

Exchanging glances, the two dragon slayers silently agreed not to awaken the wrath of Erza Scarlet.

"Hey, I heard there's leftover strawberry cake in the kitchen," Gajeel lied.

Quick as a whip, both Erza and Loke disappeared.

"Well, now that that's settled, what should we do about our kid?" Natsu asked.

"I can't even believe I'm having this conversation with you! This is such a bullshit! I want to fight someone dammit!"

Getting into a fighting stance, Natsu exclaimed, "I accept! I've been wanting to kick your ass for awhile now!"

"Did something get knocked loose in your head!? You really think you can beat me!?" Gajeel challenged, pushing his face right up against Natsu's.

"Piece of cake!" the pink-haired mage grinned.

Within the next few seconds, the entire guild was in chaos once again.

Gray, who had finally woken up, opened his mouth in surprise as someone went flying past his head.

Lucy, who was backed up against a pillar, shielding her face trying to stay out of the brawl, caught glimpses of their conversation:

"What did you say you bastard!?"

"I'll kill you!"

"If you're a man..."

"You morons lied about the cake!"

"Someone save me..."

Engulfing his fist in large flames, Natsu cried, "Fire Dragon's Iron Fist!" Unfortunately his target, Elfman, moved at the last second, and Natsu's fist collided with a silver-haired mage's rear instead.

"My butt feels like it's on fire!" Lyon screamed in pain.

"Do you need me to cool it?" Gray asked, his eyes glowing evilly.

As the guildmates continue their fighting, knocking into each other without a care, Lyon smashed into Gray and their lips collided. Both their eyes widened in shock as they fell tumbling to the floor, Lyon landing on top of Gray's chest, their lips still locked together. But neither one of them broke apart, not wanting to be the one to break the awkward position first.

Ten minutes later, after dust had cleared, Lucy lowered her arms and surveyed the scene around her.

Gajeel lay spread eagle on the partly destroyed bar counter. Natsu, and Lisanna had somehow ended up in Elfman's enormous arms, each one of them sporting huge grins.

Gray and Lyon lay curled up together, arms wrapped around each other, sleeping peacefully, side by side. Gray had yet to find clothes.

Levy was hanging upside down off of a table. Erza sat in the kitchen, eating cake she had found.

Laxus and Cana had mysteriously disappeared.

Bickslow must have been drinking because he was currently trying to hit on an out cold Evergreen.

Fried's pants were missing. And Juvia was holding tightly onto a suffocating Loke, mumbling about Gray in her sleep.

Everyone's dolls lay scattered about the floor, some in pristine condition, others torn and crying loudly.

* * *

"So how do you two propose to monitor them?" Makarov questioned.

"To be honest, I still don't why I'm here," Jellal said, fidgeting rather uncomfortably on his seat. "But wasn't the whole idea of this to induce teamwork They're practically killing each other!"

"I have an idea!" Mirajane smiled, positively glowing. "But first, let's have them all go on a dinner date tomorrow night!"

* * *

**Feel free to vote on which pairings you'd like to see in future chapters! And there****_ will be_**** people from other guilds coming into this story. So keep that in mind! Have a good day everyone~**


	3. Chapter 3

Gray woke up on the cold, hard floor. Eyes blinking and head aching, he strained to remember the events of last night. A body brushed up against his back and he caught a murmur of words. A pressure on Gray's stomach let him know someone's hand was positioned there. Did he dare glance back to see who it was? Holding his breath, Gray slowly turned his head around and nearly had a heart attack when he came face to face with the still sleeping form of Lyon.

'_What do I do? What do I do?'_ Gray silently panicked, his heartbeat racing. '_I can't just jump up and get out of here. He might wake up and then he'll realize what happened and then we'll both be screwed. _He bit his lip._ What the hell even happened!?' _

Gray narowed his eyes at the silver-haired looked so peaceful and like less of a douche when he was asleep. Gray shook his head, trying to stop himself from thinking that way._ Of all the people he could have woken up next to, why did it have to be next to Lyon?! _

With nothing to do but stare at the ceiling while he thought of an escape plan, Gray couldn't help but wonder why he was lying face-down on the floor of the guild and not in his bed. From what Gray could see out of the corner of his peripheral vision, it looked like most of the other guild members had fallen asleep in weird positions too. He racked his brains, searching for an answer for this entire situation.

The silent snores that could be heard in every direction confirmed no one else had woken up yet. At least no one had caught them in this awkward predicament yet. _Yet._

That's when it hit Gray and he recalled everything. Including that kiss with a certain silver-haired mage.

His body betrayed him, trembling at the mere thought of his lips connecting with Lyon's, but his former comrade did not stir from his slumber. Gray breathed a sigh of relief.

Lyon's eyes shot open.

After waking up to find his arms wrapped tightly around a scarlet-faced Gray, the ice-make mage instantly remembered the events of last night. Neither of them moved as beads of sweat dripped down the sides of their foreheads. Lyon, not completely awake but still able to feel the tension hanging in the air, opened his mouth to say something but his mouth didn't seem to work properly.

Gray broke the silence a couple seconds later. "We are never speaking of this again." He had meant to say this with a low and menacing tone but unfortunately for him his voice sounded closer to that of a nervous high school girl asking a boy to the dance.

Lyon bit back a snide remark and nodded his head swiftly, figuring he didn't need to make the situation worse. "Agreed." As he turned to walk away Lyon mentioned, "But you might want to put some clothes on."

Everyone woke up a few minutes later.

"What's going on?" Lucy rubbed her eyes.. "Why didn't you wake us up last night?"

Mirajane sighed, resting a hand on her hip. "The Master and I agree that you're still fighting way too much amongst each other."

"What about the doll things?" Laxus asked as he lazily scratched the back of his head.

"We've decided to forget the dolls. That method clearly isn't working." A deep voice answered. Makarov glanced around the room, eyeing the baby dolls that had been ripped and desecrated. Only two of the seven had remained completely intact. "Obviously you brats should never be parents."

Juvia frowned, taking offense. Gray-sama junior was one of the few dolls that had survived the night.

"Your new goal is to endure these next few weeks never leaving your assigned partner's side." Makarov continued.

" We have a fun assortment of team building activities planned for the next week and a half," Mirajane finished, clasping her hands together, that ever present smile never leaving her face.

"I don't want to work with him anymore!" Natsu complained, pointing at Gajeel.

"Tch. " Gajeel crossed his arms as he let his body rest against the wall. "There's no way in hell I'm doing any of that."

Juvia hissed viciously in Lucy's direction. "I want to be Gray-sama's partner!"

Lyon knelt down before Juvia, closing his hand around hers. "I would be your partner Juvia, but alas, I must work with that naked fool if I want to win you over."

Gray turned his back to the others and rolled his eyes. "This is stupid." Laxus, who stood beside him, nodded in agreement.

"As if I care about some stupid prize," the iron dragonslayer snorted. "I can't stay here any longer and grow as stupid as the rest of you. I have work to do."

"We put electric shock collars on you guys. So if you walk outside the fifteen foot range of your partner you'll receive a nasty shock," Mirajane said just as Gajeel's hand closed around the door handle. He immediately stopped in his tracks. First silence – then; the guild erupted in a fury of protests.

Elfman gulped. "That's not manly."

Lisanna's face paled as Lucy spit out her drink, spraying lemonade all over an already furious Gajeel.

Bickslow turned to look at his floating dolls with a bewildered expression.

Gray and Lyon exchanged awkward glances as Natsu loudly complained to anyone who would listen.

"I quit," Evergreen immediately responded and started to walk away before Elfman pulled her back, wrapping his arms around her body. Evergreen scowled when she saw the frightened look on his face. "I'm not letting you leave my side if that's true," Elfman said, hoping it would justify his actions and that Evergreen would sympathize with him. She punched him across the face. Hard.

Levy gaped open mouthed at the silver bracelet clamped tightly around her wrist. She hadn't noticed it before. "Isn't this a form of torture!?" She questioned nervously. Everyone else glanced at their wrists, thinking the exact same thing.

"I'd like to think of it more as a way of promoting teamwork and responsibility," Makarov chortled.

"Attempting to remove the bracelets will prove to be futile. The only one who knows how to undo the magic is Jellal." Mirajane said as some guild members started using their magic to try to destroy the bracelet.

All eyes in the room came to rest on the blue-haired mage, some guild members cursing him outright, others silently pleading for help. Erza raised an eyebrow in confusion, still wondering why he was there in the first place. Jellal turned away uncomfortably, frowning, wishing Erza wouldn't stare him down so menacingly.

"Eating it won't work either, Gajeel." Gajeel, who had been gnawing on the bracelet to no avail, spit it out of his mouth, and growled in Mirajane's direction.

Laxus hadn't been paying anyone else attention. Instead, he concentrated his power on the bracelet, his eyes focused—until Makarov placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head.

"We already told you boy—nothing but Jellal's magic will work on them."

"Oh Jellal," Laxus called through gritted teeth. The blue-haired mage rolled his eyes, not particularly afraid of the lighting dragon slayer.

"Since the real fun doesn't begin until tomorrow we've prepared dinner reservations at a restaurant that just opened up in town!" Mirajane sang sweetly.

After a day of cleaning up the guild, the guild members headed over to this new restaurant against their will. But not before being forced to dress up in semi-fornmal attire.

Gajeel, arriving first, opened the door with such force that the handle almost broke off. Then he remembered they were supposed to be working together. Maybe if he just put up with it for a few more days everything would be over and Natsu would be out of his hair.

"After you Salamander." Gajeel stepped backward, allowing Natsu room to move forward.

But Natsu shook his head and gestured with his hand for Gajeel to continue walking through the doorway. "No, no. Ladies first."

"Salamander," Gajeel spoke through gritted teeth, his patience wearing thin. "I insist you go first." Then he paused and added under his breath, "Unless you want to _die._"

"What was that Gajeel?" Natsu's eyes gleamed bright as his voice sky rocketed in pitch. "You think I look cute?"

"What!?" Gajeel roared, his heart beating fast as his fellow guild members behind him burst out laughing. He stared at the pink-haired mage in disbelief, his mouth opening and closing, unable to find the right words to say.

Natsu laughed and entered through the doorway, indicating with his arm for Gajeel to follow after him.

A dark skinned man in a tuxedo flashed a brilliant white smile at the two dragonslayers and said, " Ah yes. Fairy Tail. Table for two? Right this way gentlemen."

As Natsu and Gajeel exhanged confused glances other servers rushed forward, showing the rest of the guild the way to their tables.

"Okay, why the hell is our waiter leading us to a section that says 'Gay couples only'?"

"Let's just do as the nice man says." And Natsu pushed Gajeel forward against his will.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Natsu shook his head. "Such vulgar language Gajeel. If we're stuck together we may as well have fun while we're at it!"

When they were finally seated, Natsu glanced around, looking to see where his fellow guild mates had ended up. Lucy, Juvia and Gray were the only three who ended up in the same section of the restaurant as them. Lyon didn't count as he wasn't from their guild.

Jellal's moodily slumped forward after everyone else, desperately wishing he could leave. Unfortunately, he had made a deal with Makarov, so he was stuck for now. Once he was ushered inside, Jellal's face lit up when he noticed his comrades, Ultear and Meredy, chatting animatedly in the back corner of the restaurant.

Without telling anyone, he ambled over to visit his friends.

"I think you should—oh, Jellal! Hey. Fancy meeting you here," Ultear greeted Jellal warmly when she noticed him standing in front of their table.

"What are you guys up to?"

Ultear's eyes narrowed mischievously. "We were just discussing our favorite sex moves."

Jellal shook his head and muttered, "Lesbians."

Zoning out the girls' conversation about how much Meredy wanted to jump Juvia after that seven year time skip, Jellal found himself staring over at Erza.

He couldn't stand to be in her presence for an extended amount of time, knowing he could never have her. Never have the chance to run his hand through her long and silky, scarlet colored hair as he held her in his arms. Never be able to whisper sweet nothings into her ear as she lay beside him, the warmth of their bodies colliding. Never—

"Jellal? You there?" Meredy waved a hand in front of his face and he blinked unceremoniously.

He heaved a sigh and took one last glance at Erza. She seemed to be in the midst of an argument with the orange-haired one with stupid glasses. Apparently this "Loke" person was recommending that she eat the main course before ordering dessert. Erza ignored him and continued yelling at the waiter to bring her strawberry cake, all the while holding the menu upside down. Jellal smiled.

Yeah...she was much too pure for someone like him.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the bar...things weren't going very well for Fairy Tail.

"I give up. I don't know how to deal with women!" Laxus stormed away from a drunken Cana, who was currently playing a game of strip poker with Bacchus and his friends in the middle of the bar.

"Yeah? Well, be grateful you're not me and didn't get stuck with the Salamander," Gajeel, gifted with impeccable hearing, shouted from across the bar.

"I give up," Laxus repeated, rubbing his temple.

Fried's eyes widened and he balled his fists in excitement. "Say it's because you like men!"

Everyone in the vicinity turned to stare at him.

Fried's face fell and his body grew rigid. He hadn't even realized he had spoken aloud.

Clearing his throat, Fried stood up and gave a stiff bow. "If you'll excuse me...I have to go hang myself now." Then he hastily started to walk away before anyone could accuse him of anything or force him to repeat himself.

Gajeel and Natsu stared at Fried's retreating figure with moronic expressions on their faces. They didn't quite understand what was going on as they were sitting a distance away in the gay section of the bar. Meanwhile, Laxus's jaw was down on the floor. Fried started sweating profusely and his stomach twisted in a knot. He couldn't just walk away like this.

In a desperate attempt to rectify this situation, Fried turned to face the man he loved once more, only to find the lightning dragonslayer shaking his head, mouth still hanging open in shock. Eyes burning as the salt water crept up, he covered his face with both arms and dashed away.

"He's just as emotional as always, huh?" Evergreen snickered after overhearing the entire conversation.

Elfman scowled. "Cold-hearted bitch!"

Lisanna panicked as soon as she caught sight of Fried exiting the lounge.

_I can't let him get too far away or else we'll be— "_Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" she let out an ear-piercing scream as a sharp and painful tingling sensation radiated through every fiber of her body. Fried, his hand still grasping the doorknob, was experiencing the same thing.

Rogue Cheney took this opportunity to duck underneath his table. "You said no one would find out if we came here," he said with a slightly panicked tone of voice.

"Relax. Why does it even matter?" Sting Eucliffe replied, lazily stretching his arms behind his head.

"I don't want people to assume we are dating. I only just found out this was a gay bar _Sting._"

Sting glared at the top of his friend's head, for the only think peeking out from under the table was Rogue's eyes. "Do you have something against gay people?"

"No. It doesn't matter to me what people do in the bedroom. The point is—you told me this restaurant had good food. So of course I came along. Then I find out this half of the restaurant is strictly for gay couples and practically all of Fairy Tail just walked through the door." Rogue gestured with his hand, his voice growing shriller by the minute.

Sting chortled, waving his hand through the air. "What? So you think they'll think we're dating? The only thing you'd have to worry about is one of their guild mates being jealous of you." Sting laughed with an breath of arrogance, running a hand through his spiky blonde hair.

Rogue shook his head. "No, this is just embarrassing. Besides, I believe I could do much better than you."

Leaning back in his chair, Sting snorted, opening one eye."Excuse me? You are obviously blind if you don't see the example of perfection right in front of you."

Rogue blinked. Then he blinked again. "What...what is Gajeel doing on the _gay_ side of the bar..."

"He must be like men right?" Sting suggested, not really paying too much attention to the Fairy Tail guild members.

"How am I supposed to know? I don't visit gay bars in my spare time." Rogue frowned.

"I wonder..." Sting stared off into space.

"Well I'm going to go find out." Rogue whipped out his phone.

Sting tilted his head to the side with a perplexed expression. "Why do you have Gajeel's number?"

"Well-" Rogue began with a somewhat flustered look, however, Sting held up his hands and rudely interrupted him.

"Never mind. I don't want to know. Just dial the number."

"I'd rather not partake in such unfitting activities," said Rogue, earning a whack to the side of his head from his blonde friend.

A few minutes later, Sting and Rogue sat hunched over the phone, giggling like a pair of school girls.


End file.
